Philip Elliott wrote:
Whilst doing some house repairs, I was wondering about 3-somes. Mostly, we think of getting a b/f and being faithful to him, sharing the traditional man/woman romantic dream.

But wonder if it would be possible for 3 guys to live together in a b/f relationship.

Imagine 3 incomes, 3 guys to share household responsibilities and chores with little extra expenses. Even on holiday there are savings... group discount on Malaysia Airlines, triple room in a hotel.

Do you know of a threesome who became long-term? Are we humans genetically programmed to be part of a couple?

Jung's answered:
A good question. I have been very “traditional” in my thinking about PLU relationship last time meaning that one to one, JUST like the straight couples. But two bad experiences taught me a lot. Sigh. I think if three of them agree, why not? Remember there are always men with a few wives. I am sure some will disagree with me. I doubt that we are genetically programmed to be single, couple or whatsoever. The most important are to be caring and truthful to each others in a LTR. Not to hurt each others. Sometimes I will smile when I read people who put these words in their ads in the net “In A Monogamous Relationship”.

Willson added:
Well,... this is just some of my personal opinion from my past experiences with my family and my own pervious relationships. Threesome is all depends on the parties involved, just like open relationships. Anyhow, threesome will not be ideal for a couple who wish to settle down and have a family of their own. Love is meant to be faithful and loyal. Having a threesome relationship seems to be more to a relationship based on lust and not true love. It is always better for a person to be stable in all way before committing any type of relationship.

Sofian said:
Interesting out of the sudden you think of this. For your info it does exist and it's still the same as man can married 4 as in Muslim perspective. So it's still the same as the traditional man/woman romantic relationship. I have this experience b4 :). You don't be surprised as life happens as all mysterious way.

Tim Tom wondered:
Threesome...how interesting....and kinky...hmmm....but why stop at three? Why not four or five? I guess humans are programmed to live with another person...not persons, no?

Woo Xin enlightened:
My idea is when three is an odd no. then one will definitely be left out when the other 2 is doing the talking or even walking (hard to turn the head left and right). When it becomes 4, then it rolls back to 2 couples. So, personally I wonder if it works in a long term basis, maybe it will be good for friendship.

Jung's reflected:
Your reply does give me some insight and some questions. I am not saying that you are wrong but it makes me think.

For gay family we don't have a role model of a gay family. We don't have children to bind us together. Our partner can just come and go, just to say a word of SORRY and GOODBYE. I made a mistake, bye bye. Hope we still be good friends. A classic goodbye cases to ex-boyfriends haha?

All relationships are based on lust or a certain degree of lust, if not people will not discuss about being top and bottom. So we have friendship beyond games, how about love beyond sex? Does it exist?

I hope my questions will be discussed later after all have given their views on this topic about threesome which I find very interesting.

 Paul said:
Wouldn't surprise me if there are threesomes out there that survive but I don't know of any. I've seen some gay men in open relationships but certainly never seen guys in a single communal relationship :) Sounds like an interesting idea though. 2 of them could work and one of them could stay home :)

Edmond Rex doubted:
Having multiple sex partners in one bed would be a very interesting idea indeed. As someone posted earlier, why stop at 3? Why not 4 or more?

But I believe it is difficult for 3 people to become loving partners together in one single relationship. As someone said, there is bound to be jealousy.

However, I do envision a situation where 3 people can stay together in a loving relationship. But they must follow the criteria below, strictly:

1. There must be ONE and only ONE dominant male partner (not necessarily top). He will be the master and provider of everything. He must have total control of the other two partners and love them equally at all times.

2. The other two partners must be totally submissive (but not necessarily bottoms). These two persons must obey the dominant male and follow all his rules concerning the relationship.

3. The male dominant partner must set the rule that these two submissive partners must love him and also each other, equally.

I doubt this sort of criteria could be adhered to in these modern days, especially with all the basic human rights, gay rights and all sorts of right-rights we are fighting for nowadays. In fact, the words Dominant and Submissive will be deemed politically incorrect.

Maybe threesome is more easily practiced during the era of our forefathers when polygamy was still considered acceptable by society. At that time, it is not uncommon for a man to have many wives living together in one house. But then again, there would have been that one dominant major wife who controls the other minor wives.

Whatever it is, sex is sex, love is love. Come what may, I pray.

Sofian agreed:
Ok Edmond I agree with the 3 points you gave and those are the things I am doing to my partners. So I have to clear your doubt that it happens now in this era and that is what I have now. The first one or put it the elder wife or partner been with me 8 years and the second been with me 4 years and still there is someone say love me and want to be with me even know I have two already. But just a matter of time I might leave them as I have other commitment that can't be in Singapore anymore that's might be 3years down the road, well if they still want me even I be far away I will be happy well its only my plan I haven't told them yet.

TY opinioned:
Just as Edmond has described, we humans still follow the animal behavioral pattern. In every group, there tends to be a leader, which is the alpha male or female. It is sure to have arguments if two or more alpha males exist within one single family unit, so it might be appropriate for one to speak louder and to be the ultimate decision maker. However, the other 2 persons must be heard as well.

Jealous is another major problem. The love must be equal, and that might be a bit difficult to achieve. However I am not sure if it's possible.

It will be very nice to have a small family. I don't like to define it as threesome, but rather call it a family if it goes beyond sex. Chit chats, bonding dinners, TV sessions. To me I think it's actually something good rather than bad. How nice if I have such a family hahahaha!! :-þ

Richard Chee suspected:
Well, to get a companion is hard these days and I don't think it will be easy to have a threesome but it will sound nice if we do come across as we can change partners now and then.

There must be a mutual understanding between the three of them and will not get jealous. I believe one of them has to play a role of a husband and the other two are wives. These can be change once a week and so that the husband will be able to take care of the 2 wives.

It may be interesting if someone out there are having threesome and staying in the same house and care to share how life is about?

Hing Hoi justified:
Philip's posting is quite interesting but I think some of us had misunderstood what he tried to mean by comparing it to polygamy.

I think the traditional polygamy relationship, with a man having his first wife and subsequently takes other women as his wives to stay under one roof is not to be considered as threesome relationship. We need to remember that these women do not engage in sexual relationship between them. They are forced to live together, and if lucky enough, they will only love each other as closed friends/sisters.

Unless these women turn themselves into bisexual after living together, it is almost impossible to find a real threesome relationship in str8 people. Please correct me if I am wrong.

However, it is still possible for 3 gays/lesbians to form this relationship. And it is also possible for a str8 guy with 2 bisexual women or 2 bisexual guys with a str8 woman to form this relationship too (pening!!):p

Again, the word “relationship” is very ambiguous. It includes physical, mental and emotional behaviors of each individual. A person may think that he is in a threesome relationship but his partners may not think so. So, do we still call it threesome relationship?

Willson clarified:
Well, just my personal opinion again... Lust is definitely unavoidable in every human being. But when it comes to a relationship, lust should not be the first priority, if we are talking about a couple who are ready to settle down. Besides, having a family doesn't mean that we will definitely need a child or children. Just like some other str8 couples without kids. Marrying and having a family is totally a choice of the couple involved. Besides, it is what that in the heart that counts, not even a marriage cert, which in a way only works as a cert to have sex among couple, legally.

Viriya supported:
Just a personal opinion too. What you have mentioned is very correct; I also have the same thinking last time. I had met guys who promised eternal love, saying that I had made their life perfect and they even showed me to their good friends that we were a couple a sort of a confirmation that we were a couple, but he changed his mind later and said we were just good friends. What I mean is it is very easy to break off in PLU LTR.
Sigh. Don't you agree with me?

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