Jung's asked:
We have read so many views about love is blind in our group. Now I would love to share my one cent worth of idea on another topic which I have observed in our PLU world, Love and Responsibility.

We can see so many people fall in love and fall out of love so easily in our PLU world. So my question is, what's gone wrong? Although no doubt there are divorces or “curi makan” cases in the straight marriages but most of them work longer than us because there are children to consider, why they should stay put in the relationship, hence that is where responsibility comes in. Love fades, love changes and I have see a friend who goes back to his ex too and become very happy, but how to find and create more responsibility for both guys so that they can remain a couple?

Hope anyone here who has been long together in a relationship can give us some guides; the outside world for PLU is still very “glittering” for those who has no self control, am I right? Hence we will keep on forever searching for the best and right guy but sometimes it is a search in vain, it is just my idea and would love to hear some old timers in LTR go give their opinions and guides us.


Keith checked:
I did comment about the topic, “Love is blind”. It did happen to me and caused me to consider myself blind in my previous relationship. During that period, I have millions of questions that crossed my mind but I failed to give myself some convincing answers.

I read about love, gay, sex, etc. And I would like to share my knowledge too in responding to “Love and Responsibility” from Jung.

Men confess: “Sex moves that rock my world” BY DAN BOVA

If you pay attention in the topics between SEX and MEN, you will normally come across statements that claim men usually indulge themselves with sex. Many men see sex, though, as a way to get close to women or men, and possibly, even a way to please them. A man often feels in love when he is really in lust. So, many of us including the women fear of any man who can fall in love that quickly, will be just as quick as to fall out of love.

There is a poster on the men's toilet at a laboratory in Spain . Normally they will put “hombre” (= men) to indicate that it is a men's toilet. But this one is rather funny; a poster illustrating “the male brain” and sex takes up most of the space. Not a conclusion, but somehow men are more notoriously linked with sex than women. This is because, some investigations show that men can easily engage in sex without love or commitment. It often doesn't even matter who they get lucky with. Men view sex as the true expression of love and usually think a relationship hasn't even started until it includes sex. Sex is a measure of love for him.

So, in PLU world, both parties are men. And without any responsibility from the relationship (e.g. children), falling out is a famous option. And one additional point to this argument, I read it recently in one Buddhist article; human beings are continuously craving for satisfying their sensual pleasures of all kind. And seemingly these cravings are never satisfied.

Reality Check:
Not all men are like all other men in expressing love through sex or any other aspect of sex or emotions.

William agreed:
Dear Keith, you are absolutely right. You just put forward what I want to say, and definitely in a better way that I could.

My friend is just happened to “lock” in this so called “love is blind”. And I am very concerned about his capability to deal with it. It is always the case that everyone around the blind folded “victim” can say a lot of words to help, the fundamental effort need to come from himself. Well, we as good buddies around need to continuously give the full support when he needed.

Jung consented:
Nice to read your view about it. Yes I do agree and in fact realized it too. Cause a man still IS a man :-)

I also observed that many widows will not remarry but widowers will not hesitate to do so :-) or the waiting time for them to remarry is longer in widow than widower.

According to the Buddha, there are three realms of existence, Sensual, Form and Formless. We and many others seen or unseen beings are in the sensual realm. The lower the realm, the grosser the act. In the animal and the human realms where the body contact is gross to fulfill the sex desire. Those upper beings like those spiritual beings, a touch of hands or just a glimpse with the eyes will have fulfilled the sexual act!


Bern voiced:
On “man is man”:

Well, I can only agree to a very little extent that “man is man”. As all men are not the same. And I certainly do not like that expression because it becomes an excuse for us, as man in general, to not to explore our possibilities and not to realize our full potential as a human being and allow ourselves to be just a testosterone driven creature in human relationships. No offense.

****

On closet and relationship:

It's quite true that it is hard to have or maintain a relationship while you are still in your OWN closet. It's hard even in the first place for you to find the suitable person.

As for family and friends, my own experience tells me that it's not necessary to come out to them in order to have/maintain the relationship. You can always introduce your partner to your family/friends as your close friend, without telling them the actual situation.

It might surprise you that, your family/friends are able to incorporate you and your partner into the family life/friendship circle even before they realize there's something “unusual” between you and your partner! ... by then the rice is cooked already :)

I think the crux of our worry is actually our own feelings of guilt and discomfort for being a PLU.

Have something to share or add? Would like to talk further on this topic? Join our PLUPenang Yahoo! Group now!