Tarantula questioned:
I have been thinking about the past relationships and wondered what others thought
about "the biggest challenges in a long term relationship?"

Jung voiced:
To stay "in love" with each other.

Human feelings can change and in a PLU LTR there is no responsibility towards the next generations, meaning their own kids' to "bind" up the LTR or "marriage". It is easy to let go and find "greener pastures" outside, so many to choose or even (One Night Stand) ONS. I think some people are not born even to have a LTR or they have "phobia for LTR", they will not as the Cantonese saying, let go of the whole jungle because of one tree. This type of people do exists.

It takes two very "hardcore" men to have a successful LTR. Hardcore here means, those who really want a relationship to work out and will not give up just because of some small matters.

Problems exist also in straight LTR usually called marriage, but they are lucky in a way that they have kids and the "acceptance of society" to help them to bind it up.

It's difficult but not impossible . My mum's sister, who is 10 years older than her husband is still happily married to her husband. She is in her 60s now. Although they don't have any children to bind their marriage, I can see that they are happily married. That is why although children are one of the binding factors, the most important is still the responsibility of two human beings to keep together despite the ups and downs of romances. Romances die but friendship remains, if one thinks that romance can
last forever then he is wrong, only the friendship that remains will be the biggest 'bondage" to keep them walking the remaining years together.

Everything arises, everything falls away. My opinion is, friendship lasts longer than romance. At least long enough to last a lifetime and hold two humans together . Romance is like a roller coaster, it is exciting but the journey is short, usually after coming down, you feel like muntah muntah sikit haha. Unlike friendship it is traveling in highway, wonderful scenery and if you take your time and don't rush, its very rewarding, new horizons to discover. Just my very personal opinion, feel free to say I am wrong.

Lar Xin proclaimed:
1. T.R.U.S.T = not difficult to build YET not that easy to be developed
2. O.P.E.N.N.E.S.S of oneself to the other half
3. A.C.C.E.P.T.A.N.C.E of each other's behavior and attitude, e.g., can you accept your other half as what they are without trying to mould them to your preference or liking?

"And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough"

And Jung's replied:
I very much agree with this, ACCEPTANCE . Ask a very honest question to yourselves, do you wish that your bf or ex bfs to be someone you want him to be or rather love him for what he is? You might never notice this tendency, to ask him to do this and do that, and hope that he will become like this and like that, or hope he is a little bit slimmer and muscular, or hope he FITS in an image whom your perfect lover should be? If this tendency is very strong, I can come to a conclusion that you don't love him but you love an image in your mind and you want to mould him to that image. I'm telling this from my own experience.

Have something to share or add? Would like to talk further on this topic? Join our PLUPenang Yahoo! Group now!