Jung observed:
We have heard many stories of BI guys having wives or girlfriends and secretly have other guys in their lives.

How about BI guys in this group? Having boyfriends and hope to love him for life? Not willing to get married and hide behind a marriage? If there are bi in this group, please write something and share with us why as a bi guy, you don't want to get married and prefer to be with your bf?

Shanker shared:
I am seeing so many flaring e-mails of bi guys of being not faithful and hiding behind a marriage. For some cases I do agree that they do hide behind a marriage. But mirror has two faces. There are also so many guys that I know that are forced to get married due to family pressure, so called orthodox Asian living. To this kind of people their marriage is due to obligations. They are indeed torn apart when love is one feeling and obligation is other feeling.

I know many might think, why can't live a life that they choose! Well, life is not as what we expect correctly. Due to obligations to your own family, you are caught in a situation where you require to get married and settle down. Each day becomes hell to these people and I do salute people who are going through this. There are many of us boldly live a life that they can choose and be free of. Many of us can't. It is not they are coward nor they are deemed to be unfit to be loved. It is just being entangled in obligations to the family.

How I wish I can live a life that I treasure! Torn between feelings can make you to do drastic things!

Leo disclosed:
I have a relationship before with a bi guy, he is one of the famous professional guy in Penang . This is my first relationship but only stood for 3 months. I decided to leave him after all. We had good time and he told me having sex with men is better than with women. In the beginning, I was enjoying having sex with him, and the session might last
for 2 hours.

Frankly speaking, I don't mind he is bi, but what I mind is, he must be honest and sincere in our relationship. I knew he has a family and I am waiting for him to tell me the truth but he chose to lie to me. So I left him, even he did call me many, many times and asked me why. I asked him if he did remember that I did tell him before I hate lies from friends or bf. I would accept if he told me the truth but I would walk away after giving him so many chances.

Well W advised:
The only way I can tell you what you need to do, love yourself, even 3 months or 3 years time. Our lives are like a game, try to love each other when you are in love. When the game is over, try to do your good work and meet more friends, may be you can get another new life, I hope you don't feel so sad. This is because you still have your beautiful life, your family and your best friends. The world is always beautiful, try to make more colors in your life.


Willson told:
I used to have a bi bf before. It was a horrible thing when he gave me the excuse of getting married to end our relationship. And guess what? Months later, I found him having another new bf elsewhere, while he was engaged. Well, I would never trust any bi-PLU after that.

There might be some bi bfs who are faithful but the percentage might be very slim. I have heard of bi friends telling me that they would settle down with only one lover, either guy or girl, whoever comes into their life first and that will be sweet.

How about those bi guys who have not even decided their preference yet? They might have a bf today but there might come a time when he would consider of having his own family?

Bern opinioned:
I don't have any issue with bi, because I think we are of different sexual orientation. I know many, especially gays, think that bi are gays who cannot fully accept their homosexuality; married gays or straight guys who just want to have fun. (By the way, is there something like pure bi?) But I always try not to pass my judgment on bisexuality because:

Firstly, I never know how a bi feels about their bisexuality - like straight find it hard to understand homosexuality. And secondly, I think living as a bisexual is much more difficult than living as gay since they face rejection from both gay and straight world. Straight rejects their homosexual orientation and gay rejects their heterosexual orientation. Envy?

And on what basis we ask them to decide and settle down for just one sex for sexual or emotional needs? I think that's our own expectation, like straight expect people to go for the opposite sex.

I know many PLU have more than just one sexual partner, and why can't bi have more sexual partners of both sexes?

Talking about relationship, not all PLU have monogamous relationship, so, why bother if a person have open relationship with a few persons of different sexes. But of course, cheating is still dishonesty for all.

I think the bottom line is, if you want monogamous relationship, find someone who's into monogamous relationship; so for the open relationship. Either way, go for bi if only you do not have pussy envy complex. The cold hard fact is, a bi can marry a pussy but not a cock. And to the bi out there, be who you are. Hopefully you can come out as bi to both sexes.

Rohit stated:
I agree with Bern . Just accept them (bi as their preference). If you want to take them into your life, think of all the possibilities. The person might just leave you one day to get married. But the same goes for gay guys. They might just leave you for another guy.

Cheating is one thing. Of course it is wrong, whether you are gay, bi or straight. If your partner is cheating on you and you found out then follow what you think is right. You want to leave him or to forgive him, you decide. We can't debate on that. If the person is claiming to be a bi and staying with you faithfully and if you feel he deserves your love, then why not?

Being with another gay guy does not warrantee a lasting happiness. Can you accept a married man? If he can love you and still loves his wife? How many can accept that? My personal opinion and I believe most of you will definitely object to this. I don't mind at all. I don't mind getting involved with a married man, as long it doesn't damage his family. As long he loves his family and cares for them. I guess they bound to be problems, but falling in love. It's tricky and extremely complex. You may say, what if his wife gets to know about this. Well that's the risk you have to undertake.

That's my personal opinion but for your information, I never been with a married man. Please don't debate on what I said. It's purely my personal opinion. I know most will not agree.

Mydizney added:
Not all Bi are bad and not all Bi will get married. I'm bi guy but I never had sex with girl since college time. I have 2 ex girlfriends. Even though I still have feeling for girls, but I love my bf more. It is better to have an open relationship than lying and sleeping around behind your bf back.

Keith noted:
This is why they called themselves bisexual, they can not really settle down to a monogamous relationship. As a bi, he needs to have both sexual satisfactions on and off, female, male, female, male, male, female, female, male.........until he puffs out his last breath.

He might say the truth, he really wants to settle down monogamously, but he just can't. When he has too much "cock", he needs a "cunt" to balance up, vice versa. So, we never know how long he can stand with one "c" before he goes for the other. He has this constant urge to have both sexes to fulfill his needs. This is how I perceive bisexuality, but no offense at all.

Edmond uncovered:
As usual, I agree with Keith. Bisexuals (no offence, again), cannot be trusted 100%. If you want a long lasting loving relationship, never go near them. I don't know about you guys, but the one bisexual (or so he claims) whom I met is so deceitful. Promised me he would love me forever if I helped him. Then, after I have helped him, the bozo downgraded the relationship to friendship, and worse still, he treated me worse than a stranger. Where did he go? Well, the user went back to his wife.

User = Loser

It's stupid of him actually. If he had stayed on with me, I would have helped him much more. So in order to calm myself, I always say that he was stupid to have done that. But for those who have not experienced it, PLEASE DO NOT go anywhere near bisexuals, if you are looking for love. They don't have any love to give. They don't even know what they are!

Bern clarified:
I am sorry that you may have unpleasant experience with bi or gay who has not reconciled to his homosexuality yet or whatsoever. But, perhaps it's not appropriate to generalize all bi based on one or a few instances.

1. I can't agree a person's trustworthy is related to his sexual orientation. Does gay, lesbian or straight never lie? There are gay and straight users (losers) too ... no?

2. I also can't agree that a person's sexual satisfaction and ability to establish mono relationship is related to his sexual orientation. There are gays who are celibate and many are practising open relationship. To extend from Rohit's point, nothing warrantees!

Who dictates that gay can go from cocks to cocks but bi has to be downgraded when he/she goes from cocks to cunts to cocks to cunts? (And we can't even be sure if every gay or bi does that!)

I think (no offense), these are, prejudice and discrimination against bisexuality - as straight people think that all gays are promiscuous, HIV+, sissy, mentally ill, and the list goes on, and hence discriminate us. But we all know, not all of us fit into these stereotypes and their discriminations are unsound.

P/S: Being gay, I've learnt not to fall in love with straight and I know it won't take me anywhere to condemn them for wanting a cunt instead of a cock.

Faithful: "Not having sexual relations with anyone except your husband or wife, or your boyfriend or girlfriend".

I found this website 2 years ago and I think it should be able to answer most of our doubts about bisexuality more objectively.

http://www.msu.edu/user/alliance/faq/faqbisexuality.htm

Keith justified:
And I just want to clarify something here. I DID NOT degrade bisexual behavior. I said jumping from cocks to cunts, simply because of the definition. Or else, bisexuality will not exist. Bisexuality means sexual or romantic attraction or behavior directed towards some members of more than one sex. So, somehow they will miss a cock when they have cunt in hand, vice versa. I did not really judge them or discriminate them, all in all, we are all humans, Homo sapiens.


Zemien discussed:
I guess it is hard not to condemn BIs. After all, "fence-sitters" are not considered popular!

IMHO, I think there are 2 categories of Bi:
1) Transient- These people are unsure of their sexuality, and just adopted the term "bi". But in reality, they are coming to terms and wish to settle on one side. Due to societal pressures, I believe it is easier for them to succumb to the "cunt" camp :D

2) Persistent- These people are confident of their bisexuality, and view both men and women as potential life partners. These are probably few and far between but I believe they do exist.

Most people would have met the Transient types. After all, it is so easy to get confused in life nowadays, we can't blame them for straying once in a while.

I used to condemn bi in general and one day, a good friend from secondary school told me he thinks he's bi. He's still coming to terms with it and I'm empowering him whenever we message, and I always remind him "to be faithful to whoever he is with".

Bern insisted:
Faithful:
- Adhering firmly and devotedly, as to a person, a cause, or an idea
- Having or full of faith
- Worthy of trust or belief; reliable
- Consistent with truth or actuality
- The practicing members of a religious faith, especially of Christianity or Islam
- A steadfast adherent of a faith or cause

So, we can be devoted to many things, ideas, cause, etc. and not just persons.

I think this is a devotion to monogamous morality:

> Faithful: "not having sexual relations with anyone except your husband or wife, or your boyfriend or girlfriend"<

Oh, and why it only has to do with sex? Is that the only standard for faithfulness in relationship?

> After all, it is so easy to get confused in life nowadays, we can't blame them for straying once in a while.<

IMHO, we (our society, nation, region, globe) are in a transition, everything - morality, sexuality, religion, rules, etc. are being constructed, deconstructed, reconstructed ... blah blah blah. It is confusing.

There was and still is the battle between pro-gay and anti-gay discourses and the battle grounds are no other than morality, sexuality, religion, rules, etc. even sciences.

And now we have a battle between gay and bisexual! So, what morality and rules are we defending when we condemn bisexuality? Is it the same logic that anti-gay uses to condemn gay? May be not exactly but close.

> I'm empowering him whenever we message, and I always remind him "to be faithful to whoever he is with".<

And I think it is hypocritical to, on one hand empowered one's bisexuality; and on the other, impose your own monogamous morality. Again, are you asking him to be faithful to others, but never to himself (bisexuality)?! Of course, I do not assume bisexuality must be in a polygamous relationship with both sexes, but monogamous, may be ideal, but does not work for everyone.

Guess we just have to learn to live with bisexuality as we expect others to live along with us, I mean gay. Do we give others space when we try to claim ours?

Ben viewed:
Being a bisexual has nothing to do with being faithful or not. It's just a sexual orientation like Straight, Gay and Lesbian. Reminder:

Gay= wants cock
Lesbian= wants pussy
Bisexual= can have cock and pussy
Straight= wants what they don't have.

Anybody can be unfaithful. It has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. It's just a human ability to control their emotions and sexual desires. So it's up to individual if they want to stray or not. Have any one of you did any global survey to prove that certain sexual orientation is more prone to be unfaithful?

Rahim disagreed:
Wow! Judging from your posting, I guess the experience you had must really hurtful! But I am sorry I have to disagree with you on these:

You say:
1. Bisexuals (no offence, again), cannot be trusted 100%.
2. If you want a long lasting loving relationship, never go near them.

My say:
1.Any human being (regardless their sexual/gender orientation) that you know of can be trusted 1000% ?? Even your good friend (s)/relatives can be a back stabber!!

2. Nothing is perpetual or ever lasting my dear, ever heard of the Chinese saying "Mei You Tian Chang Di Jiu"? Relationship is something subjective, it varies according to individual perceptions, thus, no one could promise anything permanent in this regard.

You say:

"I don't know about you guys, but the one bisexual (or so he claims) whom I met is so deceitful. Promised me he would love me forever if I help him. Then, after I have helped him, the bozo downgraded the relationship to friendship, and worse still, he treated me worse than a stranger. Where did he go? Well, the user went back to his wife. It's stupid of him actually. If he had stayed on with me, I would have helped him much more. So in order to calm myself, I always say that he was stupid to have done that."

My say:
Well, it happens in any community! Thus before offering any help or giving any assistance, THINK wisely, no point to rake up the past, just take it as a lesson.

You say:
1. PLEASE DO NOT go anywhere near bisexuals.
2. If you are looking for love. They don't have any love to give. They don't even know what they are!

My say:
1. Hey! This is a kind of discrimination!! And what is so good about us that we can't get near to them? (Or whoever)

2. LOVE comes from the heart and it is not a material that we can give or present to other people. We can't buy love! And again I would stress that whoever we are, we're just ordinary human being living on earth, we have our own life to deal with, living with imperfections of others(and of our own), so why can't we just accept and be more open in our thinking for just about anything that comes together with human's life?

No one is good or bad in this world!

Eric applauded:
Well said! We are just living humans in this small Earth. Some want to do something good this world but some don't. However, I always feel that our life is short, WHY make our life so complicated into bad feeling when you control your own life. WHEN YOU CAN BE HAPPY, DO IT; WHEN YOU ARE NOT, FORGET IT AND LOOK FOR ANOTHER TO BE HAPPY. ALL IN ALL, WORK HARD FOR YOUR LIFE AND ALWAYS BE HAPPY.LIFE IS SHORT, PLAY HARD.

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